Suffering and healing

Suffering takes hold of our lives on many levels.  My foot has been hurting for 4 months, from before Christmas. The aches and pains added to having a profession that you are on your feet. The judgement from self and others that if you weren’t carrying 50 extra pounds, there would not be a problem.

A few years ago I had plantar fascitis- a debilititing pain in the bottom my feet. With expensive shoes and a year of physical therapy. I know now not to wear flipflops or shoes without backs…a sad fashion sacrifice.

So what do I do? I suffer. I limp around – hobble out of bed, gingerly put my swollen foot into my shoe. I have a boot that the foot doctor gave me. I wear it at school, but after 2 months, I am not seeing much difference. On top of that, found out that the boot was not wholly covered by insurance and got a 250.00 bill. Ugh.

My foot still hurts. I am not able to walk or do much for exercise and now that the snow has melted, I am craving some outside time. I go in tonight for an MRI, but in some ways want to cancel. Will it give us any answers? Will insurance cover it? It might tell us what direction to go- soft tissue or bone injury.

I am really getting used to the pain and discomfort. I wear it like a familiar badge. Unless I have my boot on, no one knows. I find that with these minor annoyances, I suffer. I think also of other things that I suffer with- not so much physical, but emotional or even spiritual. Why do we let these things go on without addressing them? Why do we sacrifice our well being as Moms, teachers, women?

I am going to get that MRI. I want answers and if there is a deductable, so be it. I am not less than. I deserve to be feeling good on all levels. Yes, I deserve it.

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3 thoughts on “Suffering and healing

  1. A few years ago I had an ankle injury. It took 6 months to heal. I had the boot, the MRI, steroid shots, physical therapy, the works. And in the end, it was just time that healed it. Be patient. This will pass. I hope you get some answers soon.

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  2. I feel you. I had PF in 2008 that took almost 4 years to ‘fix’. And guess who finally fixed it? My chiropractor. And I lost weight. And I bought better shoes. And I rested. Which was the worst. That foot has never been the same.

    I will tell you that you are worth it. Don’t settle for the pain. Keep working to fix it–even when it hurts and no end seems in sight.

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  3. You absolutely deserve it! I’m really proud of you for moving forward with fixing this—my husband has dealt with it on numerous occasions. I can tell you the chiropractor helped him tremendously. Also, I appreciate your vulnerability in this post. Sending healing thoughts your direction-

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