My grandmother used to say you can’t plan everything. At the time I thought she was crazy. Of course I could plan everything. I was in my late 20s married and ready to start a family. Of course I would be able to start a family, but that wasn’t exactly the case. Like many women I had a miscarriage. It was the most trying, sad, disappointing time. Of course I find out later that many women have miscarriages and you never know about it. We go through that silent struggle but why? During that season of my life I was at a loss. It was as if the life that I had imagined wasn’t possible at least for a short period of time.
Like the seasons, things in life change. Eventually I was able to have two beautiful children and I feel very blessed.
I am realizing that the theme of seasons comes up more often as I get older. We have now entered into the spring season where literally things are starting to come alive again. I grew up in California and in the northern part of California things kind of had a winter-ish and a summer-ish season. When I lived in Southern California, it didn’t feel like it had seasons they were warm days and foggy days. Now that I live in Michigan there a definite seasons. And I have to admit I really look forward to the changes.
There are also seasons of activities. We’re entering into the spring sports season, girls are busy practicing and playing and there are a lot of activities at high school.
As we are busy with our lives, the seasons kind of move us along our help us get unstuck. When we’re tired of one thing all of a sudden the seasons change and give us a new perspective.
I was reminded of being present in life today. I planned to go out and run errands when I got an invitation to go shopping with my daughter for prom dresses. I’m realizing my season with my daughter is short. She’s a junior in high school, very independent and working towards her own life. This last summer I sent my son to college. He is making his way and figuring things out. This is the goal this is what we do when we raise them. We want them to go on and be independent and figure out how to live their lives and find their happiness.
I know that if I don’t pay attention and appreciate the season that I’m in, with the people that I love, all too soon I won’t have it. There will be many more seasons and I want to look back and know that I truly enjoyed the ones that I’ve had and I look forward to the ones to come.
When I used to complain about the little fingerprints on the mirrors all the time my mom would say, someday you won’t have those little fingerprints and you’ll miss them. At the time I thought she was crazy but I’m finding out that too, was a season. I have no more fingerprints to clean up it’s more like dirty laundry on the floor and dishes in the bedrooms but I know too soon enough everything will be put away and stay put away and it will just be my husband and I and maybe a cat.
The season is turning to spring and I’m looking forward to the flowers and the sunshine and a lot of softball games and taking pictures of my beautiful girl and her prom dress.