I Didn’t Write, but I am OK

I didn’t write yesterday. I tried. I sat down and took out my laptop and then sat. It was 8:00 P.M. and I had attended 2 meetings after school, after bus duty. The first to share with a new teacher colleague and my pre-intern teacher a strategy of classroom management. We watched a little video, chatted and I shared the chapter. This was all brought on by my pre-intern delivering a lesson/ game and me watching my well-behaved class melt into blurting, cross-talking chaos. I basically lost my mind and had to right the ship.

I tried to do it with all the love, but I am sure it landed for her a little abrupt. After I finish this post, I will fill out her evaluation on her rubric. Great content, wonky management. Ugh. To be a pre-service teacher. I want to send her away with some deep ideas of what needs to happen with every lesson. My kids are already trained and respond quickly to my requests- that kind of chaos is hard to watch. She is a sweet girl, and I want her to be successful. Management is everything.

On Wednesdays, I also am meeting with my colleague-technically a long-term sub filling in a position for this year and hoping to get a full-time position. Although she has a certification, she did so through an alternative program and never did student teaching. She will be fine, but needs a lot of support so I am trying to give it to her.

Left to attend a dinner meeting with the widow my former colleague who passed away unexpectedly in the Fall ( who my new colleague has replaced) to plan for his memorial. All went well and I think I just added ideas and I didn’t volunteer for anything. Lots of big emotions. Draining.

By the time I arrived at home. it was 8:00 and I didn’t have anything left. I didn’t even read before bed which is unusual. This is a time when I “broke my streak” but it was in care of myself. I am up early this morning, fresher and clearer. Today is a new day.

3 thoughts on “I Didn’t Write, but I am OK

  1. Good for you … there are many ways to define success. As educators, we need to know this more than anyone. You did not hit send yesterday, but you clearly lived the writerly life and you are back at it today. Choosing what you need as a writer and person is part of the challenge. Thank you for sharing your process which is more important than your product yesterday.

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  2. I think this happens to all of us. Thanks for sharing a hectic day. Sometimes, there just are days like this when taking time to write isn’t possible or you are just not feeling it. Taking care of yourself – knowing what is possible and what is not possible – is important. Today and every day is a new day to write on.

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